ESPERANZA

So me

2010-03-01T18:27:00.000-08:00

It’s raining but I can see the sun that is to come
Its cold but I feel warm inside and out
It’s a different day when the newness of life
Is refreshed in our eyes despite any doubt
And no one can turn a face
to the burst of joy that radiates
Clearly sincerely I am a being living
This life is too precious to let it pass by
Catch it Embrace it Love it. Don’t let it go
Because it is too sweet and charming to do so
My body can not contain the happiness I feel
I smile uncontrollably. My eyes tear. The giddiness is real
For what has been, is and to come
It all fits together like a beat on a drum
What a beautiful painting it is turning out to be
And here I once thought it was all just catastrophe
Virtues are the frame that keeps it all together
So I beg of you now don’t believe pain lasts forever
Every composition needs a shadow to make it real
But there is also the silver lining
The shine coming from the window sill
The ups and downs and even sideways too
It all is in accord with the fairytale of ever
So take what you have and work it until it’s through
Just please do not let me hear you utter the word ‘never’
When there is something so new waiting to shine inside of you.

Potentially yours

2010-02-18T21:48:00.001-08:00

Latent love is patient love
Never rushed always hushed
So soft to the touch
A love worth waiting for
Cannot be corrupted
Cannot be interrupted
It has yet to bloom the color
that is bounded up inside
Brimming with anticipation
Tearing at the seems
A love so full and yet so far
From the reality it is owed
The measure of this love does not exist
Impossible to contain
Impossible to resist
Once let loose from its safe keeping
No eternal force on earth
Can stop it from being
So pay your dues
And be patient
For this blue beauty to become
A raging red flame;
Forever your precious passion

Insanity Calamity

2010-02-18T21:09:00.001-08:00

When my mind moves faster
Than the speed of light
I lose all control
And am paralyzed

I cannot tell the difference
Between wrong and right
With calmness, stillness
And the distress in disguise

I carry on day to day
As if all was smooth and benign

The cyclone, tsunami twister
I sustain in my brain
Is a boiling pot
Ready to burst

Any minute any day
I can not really say
It will all spill over
What will come about?

As If

2010-02-06T23:07:00.000-08:00

You speak of me
Physically
As if I were nothing else
I can not say how I feel about that
because I don't know myself

All I know is that
I like you and
I want to be around you
so maybe if I close my eyes
You'll disappear from my mind
because I'd rather you not be there anymore

Eerily Eerily you look at me
from the corner of your eye
as if to say something
you couldn't even dare say
but you are the fool because
I could read your glare
and understand it all

The twinkle twinkle in your eye
how I wonder if at all
you will come to realize
what you are saying and
take back the words that
have swallowed you whole.

Thinking Out Loud

2010-02-06T22:55:00.001-08:00

Softness softness all around
never have I found
such a place as the one in which
I am standing now.

Trickling in
slowly but surely
is the peace
that I seek

Whichever way you turn
You will see it
as it is
in its nature

creatures creatures
sneak in when I turn my back
slithery they slide inside
someone signals the attack

my eyes yearn to see
they are weak
but I know
what I must do

walk forward
and do not stop
or else
I can not say what will occur

generations abound
and yet you are here
gathering what is necessary
for the coming events

is there anything left
but this
never ending bliss
in the softness

1/31 It Was So Dumb

2010-02-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

Why do I even write these words?
If I will never take them to heart
Useless letters put together
To form a body of nothing
In them I find a solace
Unlike any other I have known
As a matter of fact
I am there and then, right here and now
From me to you or rather from me to me

In my solace I write empty words
They will be abandoned and humiliated
Because they have no legs
So so so so what now?
What is there left to say
Other than this already

Scrivener Bartleby, made me see
In the mist there exists
Some fragment of a frame
To play and to plunder

An ocean of LOL, G2G, OMG, MYOB
It kind of makes you wonder
But I would prefer not to

BRB

Today is Wednesday.

2010-01-26T18:26:00.001-08:00

Today Epi wrote
Five haikus in five minutes
Because she was bored.

There are times when time
Seems to stand statue-like still
Would it be a crime?

New York, New York is
In another place and time
From where I am now.

Japanese people
Will never let you know how
They feel about you.

Sitting at my desk
Staring at the computer
As the world rotates.

ARE

2009-09-10T07:40:00.000-07:00

The constant crashing
of the waves onto the shore
have always seduced me
When I close my eyes
it feels like they ARE
coming straight at me
I love the ocean
because it is so large
Seems to have all the answers

The cool wind muffles my ears
and caresses my face
like a mothers hand
would her child
I love the scent of the sea
so soft, so familiar.
The incessant waves ARE
like a pulse; my heart beat

I am in love with her.

The colors, the colors ARE
just as soft , pale when it counts
muted where it's supposed to
Never too much
Selfless; giving of its beauty
Which is boundless and eternal
Barely there blue,
grey hints under the clouds,
the sand, like skin
The water, grey green

A mix of the tall grass
and the grey shirt of the small girl
running along beside it
She's almost camouflaged
Her dad plays with
her sisters who ARE
in pink and orange
Beautiful
The colors of love?
I hope they ARE

-9-04-09

♥aquAmor♥

2008-03-28T16:29:00.000-07:00

A steady stream
A raging river
A slow drip
Mountains it withers
The infinite depth
Of the ocean
Heavenly tears
Used for consumption
Still and constant in a pond
It leaps into the horizon beyond
It rules the earth and does not care
Sometimes in the rush of a tsunami
or a drop of drizzle on your hair
It can be a powerful and oppressive force
Or a gentle touch of a damp morning dew
Quenching your thirst it’s a relief of course
But it can suffocate and drown under the blue
Crashing waves, small ripples too
A self professed paradox
The wet feeling comes over you
As you carelessly jump off the docks
Silence becomes the surrounding
Suddenly, vision is not clear
Gravity stops existing
And you are consumed with fear
It is never solid
It is all a hazy blur
I have never doubted
My love is like water
It can make your flowers bloom
It can make your basement flood
It might just be too soon
It might be thick like blood
Never sure of what it is
Never certain of its state
Flow, drip, splash, or fizz
Forever early, forever late
Changing with the weather
The wind knows its direction
For you and me to be together
Heaven and earth must find a connection
So there won’t be a storm
And there won’t be a drought
Just know you have been forewarned
If you want to figure it out
I will cease on being so discreet
About what it is you need to do
All this liquid love really needs
Is heat to shower all over you

© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

astericks

2008-03-18T21:14:00.000-07:00

When I look into the darkness I pretend I see stars
each one glitters and twinkles despite the darkness that engulfs it
they represent the souls that roam the tired earth
and I look to each shine as a flicker of hope.
An endless sea of anticipation
the patience to wait for a better day
an immovable faith that transcends all existence
and all that is at work to destroy its sake
If this star ceases to shine
it might as well have never been created
fore it will be a mass of darkness
a worthless piece of matter floating without purpose
What a waste this would be
what a pointless tragedy
If it were up to me
I would make a decree
That no matter how small
dim, distant, or powerless
a star is, it will shine
until the end of days
It will persevere and endure
constant in its nature
so that its fate would be fulfilled
and its light never concealed
As I stretch my arm to reach it in vain
I am grateful that it is higher than me
A constant hope for me to obtain
A reminder of who I am meant to be.
Just as a light tower stands firm on a foggy hill
for the sake of all vessels floating in the dark
A beacon to follow ever present ever still
amongst the treacherous path they have embarked
I too will stand against weather, time, fear and foe
I will be the constant that shines for all to see
Never waning in my resolve. Clear is my destiny
to remain until the long awaited moment when I must go.

JeOpARDi

2008-02-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

I love a question that can not be answered.
I wonder how many people would go to my funeral.
Can my deepest desires come true if i will it so?
Each human is out for themselves.
Should I hold on to what we have in common?
Why should I?
Should I actually do what I should or want?
You are you and I am me.
We live our lives separately.
What would be the consequence if i don't
care about what happens to you?
I do not hate you. I do not love you.
If you are there or if you are not there
it is of no consequence to me.
Will i be punished if i do not care?
Who will punish me?
I love to be alone sometimes.
No country. No surname. No race. No allegiance.
The simple action of living and being human
is overwhelming and enough to contemplate.
Never mind my interaction with another
human specimen like myself.
Should I share my presence with you?
Should I share my humaness?
If i do not benefit from this connection should that matter?
I want to lay down and open my eyes.
My joy is the shade of blue in the sky.
I am uplifted by the clouds that glide by.
The effect colors have on me is exciting.
Is it my obligation to do anything more than this?
Do I owe you something for what you have done for me
even though I never asked for anything from you?
What do you want from me?
Do you dare say what it really is?
Are you conscience of it or are your desires
hidden and locked away even from you?
You may resent me for what I am saying
but i do not know if i have to care if you do or do not?
I rather not care but my emotions are so relative
that I can not be sure myself
of what I rather do, feel, say or see.
So what does all this mean?
I have not the slightest idea but
I love a question that can not be answered.

Heavenly Chords

2008-02-03T08:43:00.001-08:00

I was born on concrete
Dust and dirt were under your feet
Abandoned baby carriages litter my street
Black slush, snow and sleet
Cracked blocks map my path
Crushed coffee cups, beer bottle caps
Are the countries on those cracked street maps
Northern to Roosevelt, you do the math
A long way when you're walking
Even longer when you're talking
The wind makes your skin feel frost bit
So you continue in silence like a candle unlit
Your head faces the moving floor
Above you sneakers on wires galore
They long to live, to be so much more
But there they hang on heavenly chords
Can you tell me what I do see?
A morning trek that seems suspect
Too many things that I detect
To be out of place and unordinary
But please tell me if I'm wrong
For I do not wish it so
A habitat where I can not grow
I can not stay for long
Beyond I see square giants
Many have become my clients
However through much defiance
One can never stop the violence
Each day I am under attack
The daily grind makes me grain
A poison which enters my brain
Defense to this I surely do lack
I am required by the powers that be
To prolong this daily journey
Despite what I feel inside
Capitalism makes me abide
To the rules and regulations
Of this glorious and rich nation
So who am I to complain?
One who conquers or someone to tame
To me the concrete grew from the ground
And natural energy will always be found
This view I hold from my birth
That all is free and forever on this earth
But you know better than I ever will
You've seen those who savagely kill
The ground once so green and pristine
Now a gridlock of steel and beams
Hold my hand and close your eyes
Imagine the world you once held inside
I will see through your vision, I beseech
A forever freedom I will one day reach

© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

Wise Words From a Friend.AMEN

2008-02-03T08:42:00.000-08:00

"I know exactly how you're feeling. You're not crazy. It's not stupid thinking. If you only knew what goes on in my brain, but the word of God is clear "Be anxious for nothing but in everything through prayer and supplication make your requests known to the Lord" Of course I am paraphrasing.

Also how can we add another day to our lives by worry and being full of anxiety? You're just before a big puzzle and it seems scattered all over the place but this is when we need to allow God to step in and create peace. For the peace of the Lord surpasses all understanding. Many are the plans in a man's heart but the Lord directs them.

Again we're back to the word PASSION. You need to find that and you will only find it when we enter into intimacy with our Father. We're too used being in the driver's seat and we put God there and then we take him out. The steps of a good man or woman are ordered by the Lord. The Lord will give us the desires of our heart but we first need to let him know what they are. If we don't know because there are so many options that's when we need to pray for clarity, a decision making anointing for the Lord to enter into our thought life." - Poignant and powerful
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

OMEGA

2008-02-03T08:41:00.001-08:00

Through eyes of truth it is clear
The time is near, it is here
I hear the bridge leading
to the climactic Chorus
Can you hear it?
A sweet harmony along with tragedy
But both can no longer coincide
one cannot exist with the other
The pressure is mounting along the levee
at any moment it will burst
and out will gush the glory it held back
only the faithful heart will rise
the wicked will sink in despair
so we must all prepare
for what is to come.
Hurry hurry hurry
there are no more delays
listen to the earth
listen to its pain
groaning and moaning
and screeching for help
we are sleeping and living
in a world that is not real
when we arise
would we be surprised
at the place we are in
if we keep bathing in sin
what are we to think
of our future beyond this world
after gruesome evil has been unfurled
by our lies, greed and addiction
lust, hypocrisy, and corruption
will this become a revelation.

Apocalyptic times bring apocalyptic measures
before our eyes we see horrific treasures
we were not capable of imagining before
so what does the future have in store
for us, humankind, and our fate?
Can we change the outcome before its too late?
I'd rather be safe now than be sorry later
So I close my eyes and speak to our Creator
The only solace in this havoc of a place
The only way out; the only saving grace
I implore you to do as I do
What I am saying is true
I tell because I love you as a friend
Hopefully soon I will see you at the end.
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

hErE and nOw

2008-02-03T08:39:00.000-08:00

When I look outside my window
I see the world for how it could be
the suffering and devastation
is all a hazy calamity.
When I look into your eyes
Your soul and true self come through
the pain and hurt you feel
is all obstructed from view.
Your smile would return
If you could see it all through me
The cage you live in would burn
and like a bird you would be free.
Through the trrenches you have fought
and now the battle has left you bitter
Day to day you live and wonder
When situations will get better.
If you could only see with green eyes
Like the day that you were born
When the world was full of wild wonders
and nothing was ravaged or ever torn.
You would see all problems disappear
What you envision would become reality
Natural light would befall on you
and you would be filled with tranquility.
When the world has darkened all from sight
And not even a ray of light can be found
Close your eyes and create the hope
That will one day become the here and now.
© copyright 2007 Esperanza Urbaez

The 45 Seconds to read This

2007-10-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

NOW
it is the sum of all that is history
it is the constant creation of life
every moment is palpable
and then it exists no longer
It never existed and it always exists
Do not ever dismiss it
every NOW has a value
that can not be appraised
it is wider than the spectrum of light
and deeper than all the oceans combined
more varied than all the notes and rhythms
that were ever thought of or created in music
what ghastly immensity
To some it is an evil entity
that chains its subjects down
and forces them into submission
it draws death closer with every pass
always new always old
ever blazing hot and ever bitter cold
To others it is sweeter than honey to the tongue
lighter than a feather in the wind
more comforting than a mothers touch
paradoxical, invisible and ever present
what to do what to do
can I hold it in my hand?
Would I be able to expose its true nature?
Is there anything to be exposed at all?
It covers me like my skin covers me
when I enter the darkness and shut my eyes
when My minds eye is wide open and keen
It is closer to me than ever before
when silence is the air that exists my mouth
I can hear it whispering and moving
in a way unknown to any soul
It unites every man, woman, child, thought,
country, ocean, planet, universe, galaxy,
all that is and all that is to be
must adhere to it and obey
such authority such grace
So I ask you, soul, at this moment NOW
What is consuming your every NOW?
You, soul, must choose which NOW will be your forever.
Efficiency, strategy must come into play,
or else, or else what?
Instead of you consuming the Now
It will consume you.
And you
will
end.

Skin Deep

2007-10-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

Fleshy fleshy fleshy

creeping sneaking seeking

like a web growing slowly in the corner of my mind

making a home where it does not belong

high up in the mountain

a voice faintly calls me

an echo that transcends time and space

a spirit that lives and speaks through song

holy holy holy

we are meant to be

the signs we see do not hesitate

Not much more will we have to wait

pretty shiny things catch my eye

but I can not smell the rotten stink underneath

the gravity of the danger is not conscious to me

the lines have blurred between right and wrong

sensuous silky sapphire serpents

melt my skin into a gooey trance

As I follow stumbling blindly, through my eyes the cliff disappears

a deep chasm exists where a bridge once hung

Something was broken a long time ago

Before the land of time came to be

when darkness and light fought one another

and a great wind blew ever so strong

with eyes wide shut and standing still

I push through the suffocating thickness in the air

polluted with a death-like odor of the smog

the clanking of the chains crashing to the ground

ring in my ear like a cry warning for battle

the soothing sound of the calm before the storm

alerting the freedom to roam, the freedom to soar

that will soon overtake me

Do you hear it?

The Faintest Flicker

2007-09-24T16:00:00.000-07:00

What if the moon did not shine?
What if the moon was lazy?
Where would the light
it is supposed to reflect go?
Perhaps it would disappear
or just stay hidden or worse
slowly fade away with each revolution.
What pressure it must feel.
To shine amongst the vast
darkness of the night.
To have to shine as best it can
compared to the source.
I would surely feel intimidated
to be so small compared to
the center of the universe.
But the moon can shine
where the sun can not.
The night would reign
if not for the moon.
Darkness would consume the earth,
leaving its inhabitants lost and blind.
This being true doubt and fear
consume this moon,
there are thousands of others just like it
in the universe, in the galaxy
and it's only made of rock and dust
sometimes it shines halfway
and now and then only a sliver
How can such a small shine matter?
It worries the world
can see it has a dark side
Sometimes it doesn't even shine at all.

Oh Moon, the truth you do not hold near,
your particular presence was not happenstance
Although there are so many
the earth has but one moon
This fact is not coincedence
and when you shine
this world can not see the darkness you bestow
for it yearns for the faintest of flickers of hope.
While you saw yourself as insignificant
and not as bright as the sun,
Little did you know that a burden was lifted
because you existed the world could see
Do not be discouraged in your darkest moment
Nothing will stay the same, the world will turn.
Although your vision is limited
know that your place in the sky is perfect
Trust in the light you shine
Because you therefore rely
on another light most divine.

The Bridge in We

2007-09-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow the sun will rise
Tonight the moon will shine
In the blink of an eye
millions will have already died.
war is raw and raw is war
there is no other way to say
what it is or how it feels
why try when it is inevitable.
As these words are being written
I feel your pain I see your scars
In a different place and time
I hear your cry of torture and pain.
A voice so faint it is barely a whisper
but nevertheless it is a sound of despair
it exists in the world. It is real and is felt
by you, by me and hopefully by others
No country, president, sea or religion
can stop this existence or our connection
So do not fear. I can hear the call.
Toes freezing in a dark clammy basement
Large eyes straining to see in the dark
Starving stomach pains that numb your soul
There is no where else to go.
But alas, there is, the mind can be set free
and go anywhere it needs to be
in the sky, on a tree, in the sand by the sea
thriving in the open space of liberty
Shut your eyes Open your imagination
be caressed by your creation
In a limitless space what will you create?
What is your desire? What is your fate?
Joy abounds a heavy heart that can finally beat
Giddy giggles break loose the bitter chains
Possibility is no longer a cruel myth
Lift up your lowered head and breath
the air of relief that showers over you
I have cried for you, I see you in my dreams
So fragile, delicate, still and sirene
Little one I will come to you
Be patient, be calm , and forever know
that I love you.

2007-09-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

fart art
starts with hearts of darts and define the lost mind
that has regressed behind in the daily grind
of our sad time so far from sublime......to the degree that its a crime.....
without reason or ryhme.....to ever reach the divine...
we have become swine...consuming visual slime...
and this binds the greatness that lives inside
the savants of a past tribe .....
described by eloquence, depth and pride....
in this chasm divide
can we we find the vision of the blind....
that would allow a slide
of a glory we should abide and subscribe
to and never hide from with the changing tide
of the herded ride of men.......into the open and wide side
of ignorance of those who have lied and continuously spied
on their pasture who have cried for truth and justice.....without bias or bride
with the enemys who will one day die.....
can we ever see with our cerebral eye......
and deny the falsehood of the virtual sky.....
flesh and bone are packaged for someone to buy and sell
and to this i despise all lies and propose its immediate demise ......
without compromise or rise to lows or highs of guys in desgiuse
So keep your eyes on the prize

What is going On?

2007-08-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

Killing yourself and others
America has lied to you
Trust never mattered
Revenge is surely due
Iraq spends your salvation
Nothing is left
A rage full of devastation

REGRET (3-16-04)

2007-07-23T22:41:00.001-07:00

gnawing at my soul
I have no where else to go
reigning over my brain
without a care for pain
looking back without any possibility
of gaining that lost opportunity
turning into a pillar of salt
my life cannot continue;it will halt
what can reverse this dreaded regret
first, know that chance is gone and I must forget
second, proceed with my vitality
for while I was looking back in pity
engulfing my life was a new opportunity
third, and most important of all
one must never forfeit or fall
learn to rise in the occasion and cope
for the enemy of regret is dear hope
the past will always creep upon me
my job is to, with my will, make it flee
it must not prevail
or I will inevitably fail
I will look unto the future
with the lessons I have come to nurture
keeping my eyes constantly on the prize
before long that dreaded regret will become
a shrivelled petal that with a gentle wind of hope
is gone.

procrastinating

2007-07-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

i procrastinate...
to protect my success........
i fear that my highest potential,my best is not good enough. for whom i dont know but thats all....i part

obstacles

2007-07-23T21:31:00.001-07:00

the thing that does not let you move on......when you are by yourself, with no distractions, with no noise around you, in your own private quarters , it is the thing that keeps nagging at your brain and tugging at your heart..... You know exactly what it is that you must do, say, let go,,,,it might be someone you have to forgive, or some issue or gruge that is just so old you forgot how it even started and it is now gnawing at your soul.....or you might need to forgive yourself for some thing that has been already long lost in the sea of forgetfulness.....you might have to quit something or begin something new,,,, I dont know ......whatever it is you have to do....as the label so proudly states it....."just do it" and do it quickly......you know exactly what you must do.....there is noquestion about it ..its been confirmed and reconfirmed and then confirmed again......so what is it,,,what is the obstacle that stops you...us....from doing what we must do.....since theres no confusion of what we must do and we know that we will benefit from it in the end....that beyond it lies success, happiness, peace, joy.....and all that we desire as human beings....the only question i ask is ...what is stopping us...why cant we..what lies within us that blocks ...what force binds us when we want to do something with all heart,mind,soul and body.........just leap into it......maybe thats just it ...its a leap....we are so used to walking.....safely.....in the wrong path mind you but its comforting to know where your foot will fall each step you take......so are we afraid? are we afraid that if we take that leap the outcome will not be happiness...or is it that the status quo is so easy and tempting that the change we must embrace is just out of reach..? to go aginst the current, the grain is not natural for us.... What is this fear that basically paralyzes us......whats the worse that could happen....you could die....or are we more afraid of humiliation or of our ego's being toppled over....or damaging our reputations.....whatever.....when we dream we see what is real.....we see what we must do, the change we must partake in is possible...in our solice is where it is clear. .."reality" is where it all gets blurry...messages being blared at us to do the opposite of what we must do....where distractions abound us....where things get in the way....so is this our obstacle..."reality" this world? ...fear, this world...maybe it is simply .....us...we are our own obstacle to chieving greatness and pure bliss...we are fighting a war against ourselves ...a silent war no one sees or hears or knows about....but it exists...who wins who loses....all I know is that this obstacle whatever it is or whoever it is must be conquered.....and it has to be done quickly.

insane in the brain

2007-07-23T21:30:00.001-07:00

why do some people do too much and are never content with what they do and others do nothing and are completely satisfied with life.....just a thought that came to mind.....after speaking with a friend who was listing all the things she was planning to do in the day , week, and months ( perhaps she was showing off but ill give her the benefit of the doubt, cuz im just THat sweet :) ] this thought also came to my mind after experiencing and remembering my last school semester when I was completely over whelmed with activities....Every moment of everyday was filled to the brim....my schedule was overtaken by school, work, family, church, friends, clubs, and ( God forbid) "me" time.....i hesitate to admit that i had a few breakdowns which are not as fun as you would hope..to say i spread my self too thin would be an understatement..Burned out, mentally exhausted, and uninspired, I find myself ( consciously or unsconsciously..doesnt matter) retracting from my list of activities...its bitter sweet because I am more relaxed and not in a constant state of anxiety but lingering behind me like some weird shaped shadow are feelings of guilt....:( Another interesting outcome of this new found free time is the realization that my identity had become solely based on what I did or what can be counted in a resume to be the uber."well rounded" human being......looking good on paper was not measuring up to looking good in a reflection or in my solice....this then takes me to another leg of the journey we all call Life......it is a place where ( as selfish, cliche or cheesy as it may sound) I must find me.....yes yes i know B movie Hollywood scripts have been more original and inspiring than this lame old same story of the (insert dramatic voice) young adult confused and lost. finding her way through this dangerous dark and daunting cruelty called Earth....well (snap back) nevertheless, I find my self in this familiar predicament ...so let my middle name be cliche and my motto be "woe to me" yes i agree that this all makes me sound like i am full of myself..and writing this for the universe to see may taint my reputation for ever ( i.e. employers supposedly now look at myspace when hiring) but I honestly could not care less....:) so whoever decides to actually spend the time to read this tidbit of my life...i thank you and hope that perhaps you would find a piece of yourself in my words and are able to at the least reflect if only for a minute on your own life and consider what you do versus who you are ...and if they do not align.....it is my "esperanza" :) that you can live life towards changing this.... :) INSANE...I THINK SO!

Send in the Rain

2007-07-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

Send in the Rain
From whence it came
Like a raging river
Or a gnawing pain
Sunshine's are far
The heat of the rays
Are so distant
Like the moon and the stars
Sandy hills are dry
Like my lips on yours
They fade away
Like the wind passing by
Oh why
Do they
Do that
In such a way
Explain to me
Your worries
Your qualms
Your fears, my dear
Fly away
In a waterfall
Or in a cloud
Do not stay
Do not compromise
My love
For me
You must learn to rise
Rise to become
Part of the world
Breathe the air
Where you came from
Life is not a tree
That can not move
It just stays there
This can not be
Life is a sea
It changes constantly
It moves and grows
It laughs and pleads
Like a mermaid
Or a shooting star
With such possibility
You'll go so far
So don't worry about me
Because you are my muse
Rise, Rise, Rise
So I can too
Send in the Rain
Send in the pain
Let me feel it all
I will never fall
Or bawl
Or crawl
Only fly, fly away
With you
Darling, My dear.

week in the knees

2007-07-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

Lovely sky
Comes over me
vvhen I wake
I cannot see
Come to me
See me through
Shake my hands
Like I do you
Can't you tell
You're holding me
Like a well
Drowning me
Save me now
Come to me
Seek me now
Breathe in me
Fish can see
will you be
The one who
knovvs the
whole of me
Catch a tail
Catch the wind
It's not hard
It has been
Hearts of shame
Jeers and tears
Never the same
It is here
It is near
Meet me there
would you dare
To see me through
To stay vvith me
Do not scare
Do not fret
It's all almost
Done, I bet
I haven't a clue
But please do stay
anyway

The Living Dead

2007-07-23T21:24:00.001-07:00

Poverty is a universal thing
The misery and sadness it inevitably brings
Cannot be compared to anything else
Can never be understood by those born into wealth
Minute by minute, Day by Day
Check by Check, One can only pray
To survive starvation not to mention humiliation
Sooner or later I lose all sensation
For those who make it, I have much admiration
To sleep in silk satin, when the dirt floor was your creation
Not to say that you forgot
The days when everyone else's bellys were full
And yours was not
Poorness is like a shadow
Its something I can never out grow
Its a powerlessness without regard
of its victims no matter how hard
they try to break free from its grip
The mind cannot be tripped
The shine and bling from your silk and gold
Cannot give light to the dim story your eyes have told
Poverty is the fuel for my engine
or it can be the worst poison I can imagine
It is the energy that pushes along my wheel people
whom's backs are the seat of the have mores
They thrive on the weak and feeble
Although they claim always open is the opporunity door
LIARS, IT IS NOT TRUE
My color, history, class and being
Are too obese to fit through
I am not the type of person they are seeing
come through the golden gates of "opportunity"
why can't it be me?
what have I done that is so wrong?
All I have in the world is this song
that I must sing because I know
I am among many with this kind of woe
pain, strife, suffering, sadness, stress, and dispair
keeps me falling and falling until no one is there
until darkness devours you and becomes you
and one has no idea of what else to do
DIE.
But I cannot do this, why?
I can't afford to die
I can't afford to live
I can't afford to take
I can't afford to give
So I stay
stagnant, rotting
Feeling every open sore throbbing
And just as sure as you have sat there
and this poem you have read
I will continue to live and spread
the invisible truth and muted voice of the living dead.

Penny 4 ur thoughts...

2007-07-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

An empty seat in a crowded train
A forgotten ten dollar bill in your jeans
Free hot chocolate on a cold winters day
The extra mile to the gas station your car ran while on "E"
The feeling that over comes me
When I thought I had lost my chance
The sigh of relief that exists my mouth
While enjoying a new opportunity
The slate that is clean again
As if the past were null
The clear vision that I now embrace
That was once obstructed and dull
The presence I now live Has become my new skin
Where once was regret, darkness, and fear
Now exists hope, light, and grace
This emotion I try to explain
Is an indescribable joy that was born from pain
It is beyond a temporary emotion
It is an inner revolution
It is a death row pardon
Shelter in the rain
A cure for a disease
Where death was certain
In the midst of the crowd
I am one who was not supposed to be
I was meant to stop existing
My soul was in shackles
The shield that prevented
The stab in my back
The favor that I lacked
Is now my saving grace
In everything I was always last
Today I am in first place
Do you understand what I have said?
I am alive.
I was supposed to be dead
The reason for this is, will be and was
My Redeemer and Saviour,
Lord Christ Jesus.
Amen.

kOOL Cat LEVAr BiRTOn: aN ODE

2007-07-23T21:21:00.000-07:00

Brown lIke me
Brown LikE you
Does it matter if IM red
Do you no if I am Blue
ChAins anD strAins on My body
Have taken its toll
A pRICE I can not pay
With out giVing up my soul
A chAnge in the pResent climate
A tumultuous sea fortells
Hurricanes And BanEfuL Tsunamis
Have over flooded the Wells
No longer is the rain
A source of our Pain
BUt Soft drops from Heaven
Has become our slogan
Our mouths are wide open
Hour just voice must be heard
Being silenced is rebuKed
Given forth is the Word
A double you With tWo tusKs
Drives out the challENGing hues
when it all tURNS into dust
this should be the first clue
Young red blood is daily shed
code Oranges the threat
that maintains this eternal debt
T.G.I. the red, white and blood
to this We must stay tRUE
A trinity never questioned
a mysterious diMENsion never mentionEd
In a Vacuum we exIst
Where ViolENT ConsisTency persists
Divercity is blasphemy
to this, NothIng must cONtraDICt
but a Different stroke is the order
sorry coleman,no longer mono-color
A spectrum will noW govern
A ranbow will turn
The sea of lifeless greys
To flourishing greens of praise
Purple mountains of maJesty
have come to deceiVE us
and do not compare to the color of infinity
Sweet sweet is the sound
Music to my ears
Never heard before
Your omnipresence appeared
By the dawns early light so bright
Only the eyes to my soul could see
A tune so fine it can never be defined
A peace so still, how can it be
may only be found in
Another time Another place.

Chitty Chitty Kung Fu...

2007-07-23T21:19:00.002-07:00

I CAN DO KARATE!
cHITY cHITTY bANG bANG
cAN i GIVE YOU A HAND
MY FRIEND MY BROTHER
THERE IS NO OTHER
WAY TO LIVE
THAN THE ALTERNATIVE
WHICH IS HE
IT MUST BE
NO OTHER SAVIOUR
TO SAY WITH CANDOR
THE TRUTH ASTHEY SAY
IS THE ONLY WAY
AND IT SHALL SET YOU FREE
AS IT DECREES
IN HIS WORD
THAT HAS BEEN HEARD
THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE
I WILL NOT CURSE
THE NIGHT IN WHICH I WAS LOST
AND FOUND THE LIGHT IN THE CROSS
I HAD TO PAUSE
FOR HE IS THE CAUSE
OF MY FUTURE IN HEAVEN
AND TO THAT I SAY AMEN.

7 train inspiration!

2007-07-23T21:19:00.001-07:00

The Great Divide
Seven train 46 Bliss
2 girls talk at night
about guns and babies
Oh my goodness
Who would have thought
Train rolls in ding dong
Watch out for the closing doors
no seats to sit in
too many men in the train
so I lean on the doors
even though the sticker says "No"
Yeah right, whatever, surfing I go
Staring eyes are judging
thinking? I could not say
but as we roll along together
to Main Street on the 7 train
we each go one by one on our own separate way.

)SAIONARA( O Genki desu ka.

2007-07-23T21:18:00.000-07:00

Sing it high, Sing it free
Let it go
Do not hold
the golden passion that you bestow
Inside you, Sigh why?
I do not know.
Crazy things happen now.
Crazy people change somehow.
Do we need them?
NO
I dont think so.
Cry, if you want.
What can I do?
If I dont feel that too.
Sail away with the wind
because this has never been.
It was never real.
I just can't deal
Anymore, Goodbye.

R.eally I.rrational P.oem

2007-07-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

REST IN PEACE
Death smells bitter
it hovers darkly
makes you quiver
and roams around smartly
Persistent in its nature
Patient to its core
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Does not care if you refuse
Quiet and still
Smothering and inevitable
a force to be reckoned with
Until your very last breath
Lurks around a lifeless soul
Waiting to sweep it like dust
the quicker cleaner upper
a tireless constant Bounty hunter
Never lies never dies
does not need to tell lies
Power and control
Destruction to your delicate soul
Apocalypse Now.
Revelation Later.
Fear and tears it holds dear
a freedom and liberation hater
Blinding chills is its will
An eternal black sea thick with blood
Never ceases to growl and prowl
Never ends its unstoppable goal
to devour and destroy
to kill and take whole
all of me all of you
and leave us without a clue
of what happened until its too late
to turn back the clock
and make good our mistakes
No regrets can rewind
the unwanted sins and past indifference
No one will turn back the hands of Time
It is useless to look at life in retrospect
In this very moment you are alive
At this second you have a choice
to live a life conformed and contrived
or change your course and lift up your voice
to the heavens and universe to proclaim
that you live a life without restrain
a new breath of life was given to you
a heavy burden was lifted off your shoulder
You are one of the chosen few
who accepted the call
and entered a place full of life
Hope and liberty to befall
on you in every way possible
emotionally, physically, financially, and mentally
Every aspect of life is quite stable
this did not happen coincidentally
A key you found that opened a door
located past the bondage held by Hades
light beams through its cracks and corners
Grace , love, and compassion seep through with ease
Found beyond these opened doors
something never seen before
Time does not exist here
nor does shame, sadness, guilt or fear
It has conquered Death
with a selfless act many years ago
a perfect son gave His last breath
then rose to the highest infinity as His abode
Today still exists this glorious place
Wide open to any soul that chooses to stroll in
Here, vicious Death does not show its face
Ergo to live is Christ; to die is gain.

dedicated To Old pals and New ones too...Yes you!!!

2007-07-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

future hills
never kills
sidekick hands
become very bland
talk to me
with real words
not just smoke
have you heard
a blast to the past
two steps behind
should not be banned
should not be canned
so what have we learned
many things i have yearned
a world where one can speak
to flesh and not plastic
a convo with your face
a chat with good pace
its not too hard i say
to regress to the old days
when you felt my words
and i saw your gut reaction
and not a random voice in the dark
that has no human connection
flesh and blood communicated
is like a breath of fresh air
that enters your ears and your soul
so you must give up your control
and release it to the wind
and let it find its way again
to the one who was meant to bring
back the joy of speaking to a friend.

The Eye On.

2007-07-23T21:11:00.000-07:00

we are dust.in the end we all are only small grains of nothing. fat.skinny.obese. anorexic. rich. poor. smart. stupid. a doctor. a painter. a farmer. a man. a woman. lived in a mansion. lived in a box. in the end this is dust.
why do we put so much value on the visible when our eyes are so deceiving, never accurate and its end we have established? nothing, its end is nothing. what if our eyes were able to see the state of everyones soul? would we spend countless hours and dollars obsessing over if it looked beautiful? would we feel guilty or depressed if it was ugly? Well, I would hope so, at least then we would be investing in something that, as we know, will last forever, as in eternity, as in will never die, will never be dust.
I propose that we willfully ignore our present limited vision of the temporary and live as if our eyes can only see the condition of eachothers eternity. We should embrace what we are blind to and attempt to uncover the other world invisible to us. It may be impossible but in all things impossible there is an ion of possibility. So perhaps if we try to look hard enough into ours and others souls we can catch that improbable Ion and truly observe the reality of forever. perhaps one day the veil would be removed if we will it so.
it is obvious but not obvious. we see what is not there and we do not see what is. our vision is capable of detecting what will ultimately be nothing. we are disabled. we are blind to what is real and worthy of our gaze.
this is my observation. whether it is accurate or whether it is all smoke. this my hope.
-Esperanza.

Since I Convinced My Prince

2007-07-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

O prince my prince,
Where have you been?
I've searched so far and so wide
Would never think you so kin
You were so near, in this very realm
In this kingdom, so close to home
I asked around, searched high and low
To other foreign lands I often did roam
But here you were the whole time through
At last I found you although late it's ok
Time has disappeared and eternity arrived
So this love will always last, forever it will stay
A damsel in distress are a dime a dozen
I, in turn, set out to conquer what was mine
Climbed down my hair, saddled up the horse
Prepared my sword so sharp and so fine
A long hard battle I did have to fight
Against worry, doubt and impatience
I was looked at as odd and a freak
It was difficult, exhausting and intense
However, in my heart was always the key
I kept it safe and sound until I found you
Although a few scratches and dents here and there
You were able to unlock the door and come through
Into a world of bliss and indescribable joy
Where the clouds are under our feet
And the sky above continues forever
You, as tom said, have made me complete
My golden knight with your shining armor
You could not have come at a better time
When my heart was ready to burst for you
We are so perfect, so pristine and oh so unbelievably divine.

Nostalgic Nonsense Never Needs Nuace

2007-07-23T21:09:00.000-07:00

Today I saw coquito on the train
He came into the doors screaming
Door loiterers was his complain
For people to move into the middle

He looked like the old sailor man Popeye
With a set grin and wrinkles to match
A brown leather pilot hat that rested on his head
And crooked hands that scratch

He mumbled under his breath
To no one in particular only the air
People looked at him with indifference
As if he wasn't even there

I remember as a Corona kid
Begging for 50 cents so I can buy
A juicy red strawberry frio frio
From the shaved icecream cart guy

My lips would turn red
And I pretended it was lipstick
Coquito rang his bell as he left
I waved bye as my ice I licked

Those sticky muggy summer days
With the hydrant working overtime
Lasted longer and sweeter
When Swedish fish were just a dime

Now they suffocate me with endless work
No summer breaks when you have a a 9-5
No school lunch Linkin park adventure walks
No packed sweaty van Sunken beach drives

Light tank tops and cut up jean shorts
Worn chancletas to click clack by
That was the whole seasons wardrobe
It was so chic, so dope and oh so fly

Ashy skin, fuzzy hair, black sole feet
All rules were out the fire escape window
A license to live came with the New York heat
A life of yellow freedom, the pace always slow

The biggest stress was the tiny splinter
On your toe from the wooden floor
But alas the hero a mothers nail clipper
And a father's mop made smooth planks galore

Neighborhood kids would congregate
To devise mischief throughout the town
Torture a cyclist with a sandal-bait fishing pole
Or run marble-staircase races up and down

Betty in front of a church signing the way to safety
The world's best foot dog on my corner street
It was our secret the van that housed our dear Eddie
And of course our personal bodega under our feet

Red warm and crashing electric summer storms
The task was to bring in the hanging laundry
And out went the pot to collect the heavy wet drops
Then in socks and flashlights came a scary story

What a time! What a world!
So small and serene and yet so infinite
June to August the time to explore
The crazy adventures that never quit

And yet they did some time ago
I don't recall exactly when
But I really do truly miss them so
And every so often now and then

A nostalgic flash takes over my mind
On that corner brick stoop I carelessly lay
Memories so sweet never to be left behind
Like Coquitos' frio frio on that warm summers day

2-27-01

2007-07-11T11:15:00.000-07:00

I have come
to the conclusion
that I need a revolution
in my life today
and it can not wait.
I need a way
to make a change
so I can say
I have come of age.
In every occasion
and in every situation
I come up with an explanation
to redeem me
before the exploitation
of my spiritual starvation.
What can it be
or should I say who
can come to save
my life and my soul.
Now I want to be real
I dont want to front
I want to be true
to my self in this rut.
I'm open to whatever.
At this point I dont care
I've seen and felt
Rock bottom
at least that's all I can bare.
I've been there, done that
Dont want to go back
Why is it I never call Him
when my life's not on track
The track of being faithful
being only in His Word
The track of never compromising
even if its absurd
or awkward or weird
or whatever.

M and M

2007-07-11T11:14:00.001-07:00

May days go by the way
without a word to say
he walks long and tall
wherever the wind guides he obeys
whatever whenever
theres no rule to his view
it is neither here nor there
twisted through and through
Chileando we go
flushing meadows is the place
crashing waves are calling
the colors in the sky go away
my time was lapsed for a moment
singing hit the road jack
but never did i see you
in the morning light
in light we see eachother
in darkness my eyes are blind
to the mystic illusion
of a world gone by
step by step i stutter
catching a glimpse
of the colors I wanted
in my minds eye
so deep you wanted
I can not describe
the journeys that come
in the callamity
mi mi mi ma
came and went
trippy puerto rican water tap
is all the show for me

Revolution Solution...

2007-07-11T11:12:00.000-07:00

My head my head
I am you, you are me
This is the fight for eternity
Never forget the end
Of the souls friend
Revolution is community
No man has been an island in the past
Alone, you will never last
I need somebody too
In my house I will receive you
Breaking bread together
Isolated, the edge is sharper
That beheads the weak
Cut cold in my sleep
Never saw it coming
Figureheads are plenty
Shepards are not many
I am just like you
I am one of you
The multitudes are dying
In our beds next to us
While we are sleeping
We must open our eyes
Our lives are the mirror
That reflect light so bright
It can never be denied
Change in others
Is a change in you
Laugh, cry, live, with your brother
Mouth to mouth resuscitation
Come down and touch me
Give me your word, a declaration
Uplift my head with a smile
Your presence has healed me
Love is touch, touch is love
Be there for me as I do for you
Hand to hand we are free
Where is your head?
Walk with the like minded who dare
Look up instead
Empty words are polluting the air
There is no time for blindness
We can not see the broken
Obstacles unnecessarily raised
We became one on that day
I am not a superstar
I have suffered with you
Cried and prayed its true
I have come to be with you
I am tired
Foolishness abounds me
Challenges are needed
Truth is for the revolutionary
Dead souls revived
Resurrected on this planet
A sun will set with out anyone
But you have risen with me
There is no other option
You can not escape
The world is full of vision
But is empty in its revelation
Where do we look to
Who do we speak for
Breath on me…..
Be the miracle
Be the change
At night I heard your voice
A sound I could not deny
Chosen to listen
Directed to follow
Why cant I go then?
And so My heart aches
Egoisitic pride has devoured my courage
Justice has scurried in the wake
Of liberty being shattered
A weak body does not mean a weak mind
A weak mind means a weak everything
Strength is derived from a source
Able to provide for all humankind
Everlasting darkness is not possible
For it would not exist without a light
Will I be one that destroys the night
Or abide in it as my stable?
My head my head…..

Sight Unseen

2007-07-09T20:55:00.001-07:00

Ive tried to be less human
To not feel the pain
that comes with living
Sometimes I want
To rip the skin off my flesh
But I know that is not possible
What more can one soul contain
When the end looms so near
Do you shout roar or explode only inside
What happens when a universe
Exists inside you unknown to the world
When do you say 'enough is all you can take
A cloud creeps closer
And I try to ignore its existence
But as much as I wish it away
It grows even larger and deadlier
Sad is the day when I cannot express
The rage and emotion that becomes me
I tell you now that we are here and now
This moment will go away
And can never be recreated
What is real what is illusion?
What are we not seeing?
Do we need to know what we cannot see
Will the invisible ever touch me?
If you do not follow the rest
The world becomes wider and endless
So where does it end
I can not say….
It is frightening yes but this is
what many would call life

In The Sky

2007-07-09T20:54:00.000-07:00

IN THE SKY
Changing hearts
Heal open scars
Darkness comes and goes
In the fleet of a moment.
A world abounds me
Unknown and endless in its nature
A journey I can not see
but I know is there.
An invisible giant
A trojan horse hiding
the future inside
When will it come out?
I could not tell you if I tried.
Sky high I fly
with life in mind
twists, curves and turns
The chosen path I must find.
My heart will lead the way
As I shut my eyes and take the leap
My passion is the wind
A force so strong; a will so deep
Patience rides along to keep the pace
Anticipation looks ahead to what is to come
So many emotions join the race
and will remain until the adventure is done.
What is my calling?
Where do I belong?
Who am I supposed to speak to?
What am I meant to be?
Unanswered questions fortify my resolve
to follow true to my calling
to never settle for side line seconds
Never will I rest or give in.
On this hunt with no treasure map
My minds eye tries to assume the continuity
As I step forward with each new step
New ground is formed in the country of me.
In this new land
I have yet to discover
The world is better
Larger and more complete
Be patient my soul
Take courage my heart
I hope for peace of mind
For life is about to start.
THE END

Lingering Lilies Laying Lifeless

2007-07-09T20:30:00.000-07:00

Immortal Soul Immortal Soul
How you groan with no where to go
Blind to the future
Chained to the ground
Crying out for freedom
Searching to be found
Raging roaring rivers flood and overflow
Soft whispering winds tell a secret from long ago
But you, old soul, know not the path to take
so difficult to satisfy
so difficult to placate
Colors hide the answer; Music is the key
Ever changing, ever moving ever plagued with vanity
One day I had a dream
Where the swirls all amde sense
I saw the wider connection
of the chaos and the mess
A still life drawn too close
It was to much for me
the color the strokes the texture
Help me taste it help me to see
Echoes in the still of the night
profess what is to come
But you will never know it
Always on the run
Heavy tears in a room consumed with darkness
Fall so quiet no one can hear
a rage so deep and so sharp
a horrid fury full of unwanted fear
When will you stand up
and face the truth you hold
inside the sun is shining
and bursting out from every pore
Time is getting restless
the earth rumbles and groans
Oh soul take heed and listen
to the sound of your return home
Your light consumes the darkness
In the silence your voice is heard
A comfort so divine
A concept so absurd
In the morning I will rise
I will love with out hesitation
Never doubting your existence
holding on tight in desperation
Immortal Soul Immortal Soul
Torture you feel each day
A heaviness to be lifted
A sadness that must not stay
Be still stay strong see straight
Let me lift the load you lead
Come out from the chasm you inhabit
Into the glorious grace to be freed

RUSH HOUR

2007-04-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Take a little time

to think about your life

where you've been, where you are

and where you're going

you wake up in the morning

ten minutes behind

coffee and a bagel

onto the daily grind

rush, rush, rush

push, shove, go

gotta get to work

gotta make the dough

theres no time to waste

you're caught up in the haste

no room in your day

no minute to pray

but then all of a sudden

something stops your runnin'

the bum who's in the corner

asked you for a quarter

His dirty crusty hands

His grimy nasty face

You think that he's not worth it

to make you stop your pace

You tell him that youre broke

You gotta pay the bills

Even though you walk around

rocking your Gucci heels

Dont think all of you fellas

are any much betta

showin' your 'thug' appeal

You think you keep it real

But let me tell you something

Your probems are nothing

You think you have it rough

You say youve had enough

Take a minute to rewind

and you will surely find

what it means to have problems

and have no way to solve them

Take a little time to think about his life

where he's been, where he's at and where he's going

Just the day before

this man that you ignored

was caught up in a mess

was very much depressed

You see he was like you

he had a lot to do

A house, a job, a car

he thought he would get far

He had it all planned out

Buy a great big house

Ms.Right he soon would marry

and have 3 kids to carry

Before he'd settle down

thought he'd mess around

have all of his fun

while he was young

With money came temptation

Gambling and addiction

he had to have it all

but this caused him to fall

A dirty viral needle

made him weak and feeble

all his cash he bet away

nothing gold can stay

Life slipping through his hands

he could not understand

why should he live his lifew

ith all this pain and strife

A rope, a knife, a gun

he's thought of every one

how simple it would be

in a moment he'd be free

He did not know the meaning

of a greater being

making a sacrifice

so he can live his life

No one ever told him

No one ever showed him

but just the day before

there was an open door

All it really tookwas just a second look

to ask him where he's been

where he's at and where he's going

Back to reality

now what do you see

the dirty crusty man

or yet another lost lamb?

Show him Gods great love

thank God up above

tell him there's still hope

and that he can cope

Remember God's great purpose

for us in this world

is to spread His gospel

let his love unfurl

It's nice to have those shoes

and have all of your money

thats all great and dandy

its all swell and lovely

Your car, your house, your stuff

the cool clothes that you wear

you think its not enough

one day theyll disappear

I hope that you can see

missed opportunities

you had to share His truth

give what God gave to you

This man asked you because

he saw a light above

your head so he was guessing

you'd be his big blessing.

Don't ever forget

who you represent

dont walk in shame

spread His name

He did not die in vain

I'm not trying to make you feel

that you cant be real

It's not a guilt trip

I know we all do slip

I'm trying to make you realize

your priorities have changed

Im trying to make you see

the person you should be

We're God's children,

we're His light and His soldiers

We must live our lives much bolder

Stand up, be firm, profess

Born again your saved and blessed

We all know what we must do

so its all up to youto live in Jesus' will

is the only way still

Dont ever look back

or you will surely fall

continue in the light

fighting the good fight

One day he will return

one day he'll come again

will you stay and be burned

or be in Jesus' reign?

So take a little time to think about your life

where youve been, where you are

and where youre going.

Many will be surprised

bythe place that they are in

they did not go with Jesus

they lived their lives in sin

They find that its too late

they can not go back

regretting their mistake

never picked up their slack

But those who go with Him

honestly do win

forever in His presence

they give Him his reverence

They walked the narrow road

They lived for Jesus Christ

submitting their big load

they made Jesus their life.

KIND-LEE

2007-04-28T19:00:00.001-07:00

Never underestimate the kindness of strangers

or else you'll miss out on a world that is unseen

someone to guard you from unknown dangers

or shed light on a lost and hidden life long dream

they exist all around you waiting to release

a helping hand or a strong shoulder to lean on

when someone you know has deceased

or a friend you knew is forever gone

we live in a world where there is one citizen

our view is obstructed from other beings

this would be I believe the ultimate sin

and not to realize the chaos we are seeing

aimless souls drifting in a world gone by

sightless minds blind to the distant truth

have plagued a generation ready to deny

that anything else exists or lives forsooth

catered by comfort zones that segregate

juiced up with fear of the god aweful "Other"

no one can ever seem to negate

the loathing ambiance that provides us our cover

change is bound to explode and combust

when we learn to trust other strangers although

one can never totally trust

every person we do not recognize or know

but i ask you to open your mind to the thought

that others may offer you assistance in the clutch

remember the struggles and how you fought

the battles if lonliness and worries and such

a tear can not stream on for too long

a grudge will grow old and soon rot

allow the possibility that you may be wrong

the grace is yours to use; long ago it was bought

do not underestimate the kindness you see

accept it and learn that it was meant to be

there is no fee it all is gauranteed free

a life lesson I give to you with all sincerity.

W.A.Y.C.O.

2007-04-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

What are you capable of?

Would you lie, cheat or steal,

If your child were starving

Or if pain was all you could feel?

What are you capable of?

If you just got evicted from your home

And you lost your corporate job

Would you leave your family alone?

Are you capable of killing a person?

When your life is at stake

would you consider suicide

what decision would you make?

What are you capable of?

If you have been betrayed by a friend

Or abandoned by your family

Disown them or love them til the end?

Do you know yourself well enough?

To know the actions you would take

When your limits have been met

And you must face your mistakes

Our lives are fragile pages

In the book we sometimes call Life

The plot is always a mystery

When there's struggle, pain and strife

Morals, values and rules we live by

Come to question and are challenged

When our backs are to the wall

Or when we must be avenged

In a helpless and desperate situation

Instinct allows us to hate or love

In the critical moment of life or death

What are you capable of?

amor

2007-04-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

Love, love, love

Is a beautiful thing I say

When you're in it and you know it

When you feel it everyday

It is passionate

it is blind

It is naïve

but always kind

Sometimes it makes you nervous

Butterflies in your tummy

Sometimes youre in cloud nine

where skies are blue and sunny

It is a force to be reckoned with

and gentle at the same time

when you have it hold on tight

for it is a privilege too divine

the Corinthians had it right

if you read it you will see

it is never rude or selfish

it is always full of glee

some live their whole lives

trying to find it high and low

it might come at first sight

or it make take a while to know

whichever way you find it

you must always know its true

that love must always start

with what's inside of you.

LoVe.

R+Gentle-le+Tea+Nuts-ts

2007-02-03T21:15:00.000-08:00

ARGH!!! en CHINA!!!
2007.....has come upon us like i think katrina did...you knew it was coming and you knew it held potenially big things but just didnt prepare for it adequately......at least this is true for me.....Time is just way too fast for me to process....but theres no humanly possible way to stop it or slow it down.....so what is left to do...just prepare oneself as best for the future as one possibly can and at the same time enjoy and live in the moment one is living at the present and try to meditate and learn from mistakes in the past.....wousers.....its all a bit overwhelming to be human in this world ( or at least just in NYC).....I just came back from a month long stay in South America and many matters of the heart, mind and soul have been forced (and desirebly so) into perspective...I wouldnt want to bore you (Myspace land) with a lot of personal details that would come back to haunt me or a lot of psychoanalytical babble but I did experience a lot and did a lot of thinking while gone....thats the funny thing about travelling outside your world....the furthur you physically are from it the closer your mind and heart is to it...When you are away from yourself...yourself will inevitably find you.....Your vision is changed..things (like in car mirrors) seem smaller than what they were before and other things that were once hidden can then be seen....i know I'm speaking too out there but bear with me....if you will...when you see children at 3 /4 in the morning begging in the street and walking with their bare feet, elementary schools that look like theyve been bombed in a war, political graffiti yelling at society the voice of the unheard, openly acceptable acts of racism, indifference to suffering and obession over the trivial...for me these things were hidden before....you are forced to look into your life.(and its surroundings) .and define what and who you are..(your purpose)..and decide what to do with what is given to you...but whatever it is I have learned that there must be a progression , a moving forward. We can not let Time consume us and live each day complacent and allow it to do with us what it will. If we as living breathing souls do this we are not truly living but rather we have become rotting flesh harboring... nothing inside. Or better put a waste of space on this earth....brutally put ,yes, but necessary, absolutely. This is the nature of the thoughts that scurry through my mind. I began this year sipping wine on a balcony overlooking the crashing of the dark waves on the Atlantic and the bright moon reflecting upon it. It was the most beautiful sight. Beyond me was the horizon with its twinkling city, below me the empty beach and a pool beside it, and amonst me, a crowd of strangers from near and far. At one point I just stood on that balcony staring at the same moon my family would be seeing and watching the loud insesent waves crash on the rocks. I felt like I was not really there. and although I was in such a big crowd I felt alone. It was quite surreal to be honest. And then I noticed a some guy surfing on those crazy night time waves. I thought he was insane because he washed up so close to the rocks but he kept at it all night. Thats how he spent his New Year; surfing in the dark. As corny and cliche as it might seem, I took this image of this kid surfing in darkness as a metaphor for how life can be or perhaps should be. That kid may have very well crashed into those rocks for how close he was to them but he didnt seem to care. He kept going back into the water paddling along; trying to catch that perfect wave and ride it until it washed up to shore. And he went in again, without stopping.It was really amazing. He caught a few good ones too. If we can all courageously live our lives the way he surfed I suppose there would many more satisfied beings in this world. In any case, this is one of the first images of 2007 I will keep forever in my mind. I have obviously accumulated more but I wont bore you more than I have already. I will just end with this.and fittingly so.HOPE. My hopes for this year are many but among them the hope that I have changed and will continue to change as a human being and as a living soul. Everyday I hope to live with ambitions for the future (the perfect wave), meditations of the past (wipe outs), and appreciation for the present (paddling along). Thank you all for your patience and for reading my insane babble. You are much too kind and I pray God may bless you for it. until 2008.peace be unto you. and hang 10!!!

The Great Divide

2006-11-27T00:31:00.000-08:00

Seven train 46 Bliss
2 girls talk at night
about guns and babies
Oh my goodness
Who would have thought
Train rolls in ding dong
Watch out for the closing doors
no seats to sit in
too many men in the train
so I lean on the doors
even though he sticker says "No"
Yeah right, whatever, surfing I go
Staring eyes are judging
thinking? I could not say
but as we roll along together
to Main Street on the 7 train
we each go one by one on our own separate way.

Send in the Rain

2006-11-27T00:28:00.001-08:00

weak in the knees

2006-11-27T00:18:00.000-08:00

Lovely sky
Comes over me
when I wake
I cannot see
Come to me
See me through
Shake my hands
Like I do you
Can't you tell
You're holding me
Like a well
Drowning me
Save me now
Come to me
Seek me now
Breathe in me
Fish can see
will you be
The one who
knows the
whole of me
Catch a tail
Catch the wind
It's not hard
It has been
Hearts of shame
Jeers and tears
Never the same
It is here
It is near
Meet me there
would you dare
To see me through
To stay with me
Do not scare
Do not fret
It's all almost
Done, I bet
I haven't a clue
But please do stay
anyway

The Living Dead

2006-11-26T22:48:00.000-08:00

goodbye year

2006-01-01T21:31:00.000-08:00

ciao di ciao alla 2005.....it was an interesting year...i began the year in Rome, Italy in Piazza Popoli with my sister xiomi surrounded by hundreds of drunk ppl..counting down in Italian....watching fire works, a life size fake elephant..and the biggest moon I have ever seen in my life....I did wish though that I could split myself in two for when my first niece was born and I was in Sienna :( it broke my heart not to be there...much anticipation for her to come...I could say this year started out with a bang....I dont regret any thing even though there have been some unfortunate events this year...there were plenty cliffhangers, close calls and too close for comfort moments but also there were moments I was truly proud of my accomplishments or I learned something new about myself....I definitely enjoyed my 80s bash i threw....for planning that in a week it wasnt so bad....I discovered my limits this year....My values, principles, morals,,,my being were questioned, tested, criticized.....my comfort zone ( as they call it) shrunk an inch or two...I look back at who I was in the beginning of this year and i can hardly recognize my self....Ive made friends where I thought there were none and Ive discovered through personal experience and observation ppl who have disappointed me. I really loved Miami......nuf said about that....barbecues, pools, beach, dinners, etc..once boring fam rituals became precious ....the realization of my future descended upon me slowly but surely.....living life this year has made me different ...better i would hope but I dont know...my failures give my portrait texture,,,my highs give it depth...i must say it went by so fast i cant believe it.this whole century flew...I remember freaking out about Y2K ..but this is prophesied already so lets not be redundant...For 2006 I hope to be conscious and awake...and see with eyes of compassion....thats all folks ......c ya in Y2K6!!!!!many adventures to come

ESPERANZA

So me

Potentially yours

Insanity Calamity

As If

Thinking Out Loud

1/31 It Was So Dumb

Today is Wednesday.

ARE

♥aquAmor♥

*astericks*

JeOpARDi

Heavenly Chords

Wise Words From a Friend.AMEN

OMEGA

hErE and nOw

The 45 Seconds to read This

Skin Deep

The Faintest Flicker

The Bridge in We

What is going On?

REGRET (3-16-04)

procrastinating

obstacles

insane in the brain

Send in the Rain

week in the knees

The Living Dead

Penny 4 ur thoughts...

kOOL Cat LEVAr BiRTOn: aN ODE

Chitty Chitty Kung Fu...

7 train inspiration!

)SAIONARA( O Genki desu ka.

R.eally I.rrational P.oem

dedicated To Old pals and New ones too...Yes you!!!

The Eye On.

Since I Convinced My Prince

Nostalgic Nonsense Never Needs Nuace

2-27-01

M and M

Revolution Solution...

Sight Unseen

In The Sky

Lingering Lilies Laying Lifeless

RUSH HOUR

KIND-LEE

W.A.Y.C.O.

amor

R+Gentle-le+Tea+Nuts-ts

The Great Divide

Send in the Rain

weak in the knees

The Living Dead

goodbye year

astericks