insane in the brain

why do some people do too much and are never content with what they do and others do nothing and are completely satisfied with life.....just a thought that came to mind.....after speaking with a friend who was listing all the things she was planning to do in the day , week, and months ( perhaps she was showing off but ill give her the benefit of the doubt, cuz im just THat sweet :) ] this thought also came to my mind after experiencing and remembering my last school semester when I was completely over whelmed with activities....Every moment of everyday was filled to the brim....my schedule was overtaken by school, work, family, church, friends, clubs, and ( God forbid) "me" time.....i hesitate to admit that i had a few breakdowns which are not as fun as you would hope..to say i spread my self too thin would be an understatement..Burned out, mentally exhausted, and uninspired, I find myself ( consciously or unsconsciously..doesnt matter) retracting from my list of activities...its bitter sweet because I am more relaxed and not in a constant state of anxiety but lingering behind me like some weird shaped shadow are feelings of guilt....:( Another interesting outcome of this new found free time is the realization that my identity had become solely based on what I did or what can be counted in a resume to be the uber."well rounded" human being......looking good on paper was not measuring up to looking good in a reflection or in my solice....this then takes me to another leg of the journey we all call Life......it is a place where ( as selfish, cliche or cheesy as it may sound) I must find me.....yes yes i know B movie Hollywood scripts have been more original and inspiring than this lame old same story of the (insert dramatic voice) young adult confused and lost. finding her way through this dangerous dark and daunting cruelty called Earth....well (snap back) nevertheless, I find my self in this familiar predicament ...so let my middle name be cliche and my motto be "woe to me" yes i agree that this all makes me sound like i am full of myself..and writing this for the universe to see may taint my reputation for ever ( i.e. employers supposedly now look at myspace when hiring) but I honestly could not care less....:) so whoever decides to actually spend the time to read this tidbit of my life...i thank you and hope that perhaps you would find a piece of yourself in my words and are able to at the least reflect if only for a minute on your own life and consider what you do versus who you are ...and if they do not align.....it is my "esperanza" :) that you can live life towards changing this.... :) INSANE...I THINK SO!